On God's Terms: Marriage Divorce and Remarriage

 

How does God feel about divorce? Well, we don’t have to guess, He plainly states that He hates it. He considers it an act of violence! (Malachi 2:16). And yet, it is hard to find anyone today that has not been “touched” by it in some way. But we really shouldn’t be surprised - especially with the way adulterous relationships are glamorized on our television sets and in the movies we watch!

What many fail to see is that the home is the “glue” that binds our society together and that the destruction of the home will ultimately bring this nation to its knees. So how do we stop it? The answer is simple. We teach people what God has to say concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage.

Most people enter into marriage without realizing that in reality, it’s a contract. But it’s not just between a man and a woman; both of them enter into a contract with God. Malachi had to remind those in his day who treated their wives unjustly that "the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth" (Malachi 2:14). Likewise, the immoral woman of Proverbs 2 had forsaken her husband and forgot the "covenant of her God" (Prov. 2:16-19).

A man and woman must never forget the vows they made with God as their witness. There will be difficult times ahead, anyone that has been married for very long can attest to that, and society tells us that during these times divorce is a viable option. But despite what society tells us, we must always remember our vows because God is not going to forget that we vowed to cleave to each other "till in death we do part" (Gen 2:24, Matt. 19:4).

The rampant divorce rate in our society today is due to the fact people have very little regard for what God has to say about the marriage covenant. If they did they would see that there’s so much more than just being faithful to each other if both parties wish to have a happy and healthy relationship. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25). Christ gave His very life for the church! That’s the kind of love we are to have for our mates. Not just physical attraction, but a kind of love that will put the other’s well being before our own in every instance! This alone would solve most if not all of the problems we see in our homes today! Each party has their own responsibilities. The man must provide for his family (1 Timothy 5:8) and the wife is required to be in submission to her own husband as the church is subject to Christ (Eph. 5:24). In addition, they are both required to render affection due the other (1 Cor. 7:3). But most importantly, they are "bound” to their spouse as long as they live (Romans 7:1-4). Now understand that this is God’s law which always supersedes the laws of man! 

Sadly, our society today says that one can divorce for any cause. In fact, “no fault” divorces are common. And when the Pharisees questioned the Lord concerning this very issue, He reminded them that God meant for one man and one woman to live together in marriage for life. He also said that a couple is "joined" together by God himself (Matthew 19:3-6). The Pharisees then asked why Moses allowed them to give a "certificate of divorce" and put away their wives (Matthew 19:7). Jesus explained that while God tolerated their immorality for a while, "from the beginning, it was not so" (Matthew 19:8). Jesus stated there was only one reason for a man to "put away" his wife and be married to another and that was sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9).

We must always remember that a man and a woman are joined together by God and He is the only one who has the right to dissolve the relationship. What this simply means is that two people can be divorced according to the laws of the land and still be married in the “eyes” of God. Only when man’s laws (and conditions for divorce) comply with God’s laws will they be acceptable in God’s sight.  As a result, any subsequent marriages may not be recognized by God.  We can see this in Mark 6:17-18. John very pointedly told Herod that it was not lawful for him to have his brother’s wife. He might have had a “lawful” marriage according to civil law, but John said it was not "lawful." Jesus also told the woman a Jacob’s Well that the husband she had was not hers (John 4:16-18). And again, in Romans 7:2-3, we see a woman still bound by God to her first husband as long as he lived, even though she might be married to another man!

So then the question naturally comes up, “will God forgive divorce?”  What happens when an individual has been unscripturally divorced and then remarried, but wants to obey the gospel of Christ? Will God overlook his divorce and allow him to continue his present marriage? To answer this question, we have to look at God’s requirements for forgiveness.

On the Day of Pentecost, Peter said that one needs to repent and be baptized for the remission of sins (Acts 2:37-38). Notice Peter says a person must first repent and then be baptized if he wants to have his sins remitted.  Looking further, John shows us that our repentance is in vain unless we bring forth fruits that are worthy of repentance (Matt. 3:8). We know that the blood of Christ will cleanse every man of his sins when he is buried with him in baptism (Rom. 6:1-4; 1 Pet. 3:21), but prior to baptism a person must repent (Acts 2:38). So if a man is living in an unscriptural marriage, true repentance demands that he cease the practice of sin. We understand that a thief has to quit stealing; a liar must quit lying, etc. Why then is it so hard to see that if a person is in an unscriptural marriage, and thus a sinful one, they must get out of that relationship?

In John 8 a woman was brought to Jesus who was caught in the very act of adultery. Now there’s no doubt the Lord forgave her, but what did Jesus mean when He said "go and sin no more?" (John 8:11) Could she continue in adultery? The Lord forgave her, but He also warned her not to commit this sin any more.

Some respond by stating "So what you’re telling me is that God wants us to break up our happy home?" In the Old Testament, God had forbidden the children of Israel from marrying foreign wives (Deut. 7:1-5). God knew that they would be tempted to worship the “gods” of those foreign wives. Nevertheless, in the days of Ezra many Israelites married women from the surrounding nations. When the men of Israel realized their sin and came to repentance, Ezra told them to separate themselves from the people of the land, and from their pagan wives (Ezra 10:10-12). They answered by saying, “As you have said, so we must do.” Do you think that was easy? Certainly there were children involved; many happy homes involved, but they realized something that our society fails to see…it was the will of Almighty God!

All of this information carries with it two important implications.  First, we must enter into marriage knowing that we seal this commitment in the eyes of God and that it is meant to last for a lifetime.  Despite what our society may tell us, there is only one scriptural reason for divorce.  Second, we must make a difficult decision if we find ourselves in an unscriptural relationship.  Whether from ignorance or disregard, if our present circumstances are sinful and we choose to continue in them, rest assured the Lord will not find us acceptable.

Alan Wood